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The Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word
hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can
see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul
to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized,
Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad
and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When
the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time
machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's
why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take
shit from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I
am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man's blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this
man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Here are some other facts
1 Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now the Islands.
2 Chuck Norris doesn't type.. he stares at his computer until the words show up.
3 Chuck Norris does not
wear a condom Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
4 There are no weapons of mass destruction
in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
5 Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
the information he wants.
6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck swallowed a turtle whole,
and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
7 Chuck Norris is the reason
why Waldo is hiding.
8 There once was a group of men who called chuck norris a sissy. There were no
survivers
9 chuck norris once walked down the street with a massive errection. there
were no survivers.
10 Chuck norris once got the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know
this as Red Bull.
11 Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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12 Chuck Norris doesnt have AIDS but he gives it to
people anyway.
Chuck Norris can flex his penus. |
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